Thursday 9 April 2020

MPs who get generous expenses for working away from home now also receiving generous expenses for working at home


MP expenses, parliament

Members of parliament who are given generous expense packages to cover the ‘costs’ of working away from home, are today relieved to find out they will also receive a generous expense package to cover the cost of working at home.

With many MPs accruing tens of thousands in expenses to cover things like refurbishing the second home they apparently need for work, it has come as a pleasant surprise that they will now be given £10,000, no questions asked, to help cover the cost of working in their first home.

Taxpayer Simon Williams told us, “Like all homeworkers, MPs will be finding this a dreadfully difficult and costly time.

“There is the extra cost of electricity for plugging your laptop in all day. The extra cost of the biscuits you will eat. The extra cost of toilet roll because you can’t take all of your shits in the office.  These things all add up.

“I just wish as a taxpayer I wasn’t the only employer giving out ten-grand cheques to my homeworkers without asking for receipts.”

Fellow taxpayer, Trevor Smith, said, “There comes a point when people are being given expenses for working away from home, and also expenses for working at home, that you have to wonder if these aren’t actually expenses at all, but in fact just a tax-efficient way of getting paid a nice little bonus?”

“As a home-worker who has to itemise his phone bill with a highlighter pen to claim back any calls I make at home, I am obviously in favour of writing employees huge cheques to work from home during the lockdown.

“But because this is the 21st century and I have the Internet and a laptop, I already have everything I need to actually work from home, so if you gave me ten-grand I’d probably just spunk it on a massive TV and booze.

“It’s OK though, most MPs probably need a bigger TV anyway.”

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