Man goes to the park to complain about how many people there are in the park

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Local busybody Simon Williams is looking forward to a trip to the park today, where he will post photos of other people doing the same thing on social media, while complaining about how many people there are at the park.

Simon, who considers it ‘shocking’ how many people seem to be flouting social distancing rules, plans to be genuinely angered by how many people are taking advantage of a nice day to go to the same place as him.

“Yes, obviously people have to get out of confinement now and again, but maybe they should think about going somewhere other than the only patch of green space within easy reach,” Simon angrily posted to Facebook.

“Why do they all have to come here, right where I am, documenting them all coming here?

“It’s tremendously worrying that people are playing fast and loose with safety at a time like this,” he added with a photo of himself mingling with the crowds, most of whom also appeared to also be taking photos of people in the park while shaking their heads and tutting.

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Williams later posted, “What the council should do is only allow people into green spaces on a one-in, one-out basis. They could even appoint officers to exercise some sort of petty, functionary power over other people who want to come in.

“I’d happily volunteer for such a role. That’d be great. I could have a uniform and a peaked cap and tell people what to do like I’ve always wanted.”