Monday 6 April 2020 by Davywavy

Woman blows ten years worth of saved Nectar points on gin for the week


gin at the supermarket

Local woman Simone Williams has blown her entire 125,000 point Nectar account on gin which is expected to last her less than a week, it has emerged.

Simone, who had been saving her account for some years, had intended to use its contents carefully and sensibly to cover essential purchases during the crisis – a resolution which lasted right up until she turned into the liquor aisle at her local Sainsburys.

“I had to stand outside in a queue for about half an hour whilst trying to keep the kids entertained by playing I-spy,” she said.

“You know – ‘I spy with my little eye something beginning with T – trolley, Q – queue, C – Coughing arsehole’ – that sort of thing. So by the time I got into the shop I was about ready for some special mummy squash to go along with the shopping.

“And turning into the gin row was like being lost in a desert before suddenly surmounting a dune and coming across a beautiful oasis.”

Witnesses described what happened next ‘like something out of a movie’, as Simone floated down the aisle adding bottle after bottle to her shopping trolley as if in a happy dream, before slapping her Nectar card down at the checkout and telling the cashier just to burn it.

Instore security guards told us, “I know that during the lockdown shops are trying to say no more than two of each item for any customer, but nobody in their right mind would have got between her and the exit with that trolley.”

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