Pathetic snowflake seeks safe space

author avatar by 4 years ago

A pathetic snowflake is desperately building a ‘safe space’ where they don’t have to face dissenting opinions which might hurt their fragile view of the world, it has emerged.

The sorry loser, who is so weak they can’t handle a bit of ‘straight talk’, would rather shut down free speech than engage in debate – resulting in some observers to describe them as ‘feeble’.

“This search for a safe space is a fairly common reaction from people with low self-esteem and confidence issues,” said Dr Simon Williams of the Kettering Institute of Stuff What Goes On Inside Your Head.

“They talk really big and demand attention, and keep up what we scientists call a ‘facade of bullshit’, but then as soon as they’re challenged, it all falls to bits and they run away to their regular bubble.

“It’s often the case that the biggest advocates of free speech, are secretly the ones doing everything they can to avoid dissenting opinions.

“I mean, nothing screams ‘I value the right of everyone to have unpopular opinions’ quite like blocking the people who have opinions different to your own.

“We actually wrote to Twitter on the back of this and suggested that they could change the block notification image to a picture of your mum’s skirts to hide behind, or possibly a sandpit for you to stick your head deep into, just to really make it clear what’s going on for everyone who sees it.”

Piers Morgan was unavailable for comment beyond shouting ‘Go away!’ from inside his wardrobe.