Thursday 2 April 2020 by Neil Tollfree

Experts offer catastrophic prediction that we could face up to a year of catastrophic predictions from experts


Experts warn of catastrophic predictions

Experts have today offered the catastrophic prediction that we are currently facing the prospect of up to a year of catastrophic predictions from experts.

“One of the side-effects of the coronavirus has been the dramatic rise in catastrophic predictions from experts,” said Simon Williams, an expert.

“On an almost daily basis we are seeing new catastrophic predictions that Covid-immune dogs are planning a coup or that society might run out of soup.

“In normal times, we could expect no more than one catastrophic prediction a week, or even a fortnight. But we are currently seeing two or three a day.

“Even now, I see that a colleague of mine has made the catastrophic prediction that by staying in so much, everyone will forget what to do with fresh air.”

However, most catastrophically of all, Mr Williams went on to make the catastrophic prediction that the rate of catastrophic predictions might not decrease after the coronavirus crisis has passed, but is here with us to stay.

“It could well be that, as a society, daily catastrophic predictions become normalised and that on a daily basis we will be faced with catastrophic predictions that the moon is going to defect to Mars or that flowers turn you gay.

“Which would be catastrophic.”

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