A man appears to be dealing with the coronavirus crisis by believing he’s in one of the apocalyptic movies he likes to watch.
When Simon William’s wife Karen asked him to go to the supermarket he knew exactly what to do.
“It’ll be tough,” he said, sweeping crockery off the kitchen table and unfolding a map of Swansea Enterprise Park, “But doable.
“Tesco is out – see how it backs on to this housing estate and the potentially infected.
“Aldi’s also too risky – too many obstacles, bottleneck at the checkout. I need to be able to get out in a hurry if the shit hits the fan.
“ASDA looks like my way in: multiple car park entrances, adjacent to the abandoned McDonalds and close to the M4 so I have a good exit strategy.
“Okay, what’s the inventory requirement?”
“Do you mean the shopping list?” said Karen. “The usual – vegetables, fruit, eggs…oh, and don’t forget the milk.”
Simon sucked in air through his teeth.
“Eggs, Jesus Christ… Okay, tell the kids I love them.”
Simon then ‘tooled up’ for his ‘mission.’
Army fatigues – check. Rucksack full of bags for life – check. Utility belt with pound for the trolley – check.
Fully equipped, Simon hugged Karen tightly and kissed her on the forehead.
“If I’m not back in two hours knock down the shed and use the planks to board up all the downstairs windows.
“And remember, if you see someone coughing and feverish you have to aim for the head. Killing the brain is the only way.”