Tuesday 31 March 2020

Bottle of hand sanitiser strangely comfortable advertising the fact it ‘never works perfectly’


purell hand sanitiser 99.99% of germs

A bottle of hand sanitiser that claims to only kill up to 99.99% of germs is for some reason happy to advertise the fact that it never works perfectly.

The bottle of Purell, proudly boasts of the fact that it kills up to 99.99% of germs, seemingly unaware that it is merely confirming that it never kills 100% of germs, the single purpose for which it is usually purchased.

Consumer Simon Williams told us, “It feels like a strange thing to advertise on the front of your bottle of liquid to kill germs, no? I mean, there are loads of products that don’t work perfectly 100% of the time, but they don’t lead with that fact.

“I wouldn’t buy a ticket to fly with an airline that said ‘people hardly ever die on our journeys’, would you?

“You don’t see Uber advertising the fact that their customers ‘almost always’ get to their destinations without being sexually assaulted, do you? No, because they’re not stupid.

“I don’t see why it’s different for hand sanitiser. Why would you draw attention to the fact that you can’t completely do the one thing you’re being bought for.

“It’s like the idiots at Head and Shoulders. They say it gets rid of up to 99% of dandruff – and that’s a good thing, is it? Right, so why not just say ‘will definitely leave some dandruff behind’. Because that’s what I actually hear when you say it gets rid of up to 99% of dandruff.

“Personally, I blame the schools. If more people left school really understanding how percentages work, these companies would all go out of business within a fortnight.”

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