British people are secretly getting a powerful erotic charge from lengthy queues outside supermarkets and petrol stations, it has emerged.
As vital suppliers restrict entry and make people stand in orderly lines outside their premises, many Britons have been surprised to discover the whole experience curiously sexy and fulfilling of some hitherto unsuspected inner need.
External observers have long suspected that the British get off on orderly queuing and are understood to be ‘unsurprised’ by this revelation.
“The queues,” gasped shopper Simon Williams. “They’re so big. So long and hard to handle.
“I guess I’m just going to have to…suck it up and take it.”
Other shoppers agreed that standing in the rain waiting to buy a loaf of bread for a quarter of an hour at a time or more gets them really wet and they love it.
“I’ll just stand here pounding…the pavement for as long as it takes and then I’ll go and do it all again in my car at the petrol station,” added Simon.