Although the government has brought in strict rules preventing people from going outside for a walk more than once per day, a Wokingham man has discovered a loophole where you can walk as often as you like if you tell the police when questioned that you were going to the off-licence.
After the government moved to declare that off-licences are considered ‘necessary businesses’ that can remain open during the lockdown, it suddenly became apparent to everyone that you can be outside perfectly legitimately if you’re on your way to visit one of these necessary businesses.
Wokingham resident Simon Williams, 52, told us, “I was just out for a walk, minding my own business trying to get some air and get away from the four walls of my house for a bit when a policeman asked where I was going.
“He was very polite about it, but then I remembered I’d already been out to get a newspaper that morning – so this walk was actually forbidden.
“Fortunately I was struck by a moment of inspiration and told him I’d run out of Stella at home and needed to get some more as I was in danger of being sober during the lockdown. The policeman merely chuckled and sent me on my way with a pleasant ‘keep safe’ cheerio.
“It seems to have been passed down that you can be out and about, but only if you’re going to get something essential – like booze.
“That’s why I’ve taken to carrying an Oddbins carrier bag everywhere I go. It’s like a get out of jail free card.”