Wednesday 25 March 2020 by Neil Tollfree

Rich people confirm staying home is easy, not sure why poor people complaining


Rich family finding self-isolation quite easy

Rich people across the world have confirmed that staying at home due to the coronavirus is actually pretty easy and they’re really not sure why poor people are complaining about it so much.

“When you think about it, staying at home isn’t that hard,” explained Simon Williams, an executive at a stockbroking firm that is covering his salary during the quarantine.

“I don’t get why so many people are complaining and disobeying the rules to go and meet with friends and go to the beach and everything.

“You can set up video-conferencing on the flatscreen to hang out with friends, binge-watch Netflix in the cinema room, maybe download some new games on the PlayStation, and if you get bored, you can just spend half an hour or so walking around the garden. With the sun coming out we’ve even ventured a few dips in the pool.

“We’ve had to let the housekeeper go, because she might be infectious. But that means we’ve had great fun with the kids cooking and whatnot.

“I mean, we make a dreadful mess every night, and little Jocasta dropped a rib of beef on the floor but you can just get Ocado to make another delivery.

“We’re actually having rather a lot of fun.

“I think people need to make the best of it. It’s not that difficult.”

Eleanor Gay is a single mum who is living with her nine-year-old daughter in a single room in a bed & breakfast until the end of April.

“If we look out if the window at the right angle, we can see what the man over the road is watching on his TV,” she said.

“I just wish he’d watch a bit less Breaking Bad and a bit more Peppa Pig.”

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