Prince Charles spends busy morning licking surfaces at Windsor Castle

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Prince Charles has spent the morning licking as many surfaces as possible at Windsor Castle, after testing positive for Coronavirus.

The next in line to throne, 71, who probably thought he’d get to be king while still in his fifties, has been warned to self-isolate but chose instead to continue his “long term habit” of licking things in the private residences of royal buildings.

A source close to Charles told us, “Charles has always had a few strange ideas – like supporting homeopathy, and talking to plants. So the fact that he’s so keen on licking surfaces in and around his elderly mother’s home shouldn’t really come as a surprise.

“Sure, in the current climate it’s not considered wise, but he’s a big believer in personal freedom, and what sort of country are we trying to save if we can’t go around licking the door handles and cutlery in your mum’s kitchen?”

A Buckingham Palace spokesperson told us, “We respect the Prince’s decision to go around licking things now he’s got Coronavirus, but it seems pointless given lizards can’t catch it.”

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