Britain to be locked down after simpletons couldn’t stay at home when asked politely

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Dipshits who insisted on going to the park and the pub over the weekend have ruined things for everyone else, it has emerged.

Morons, who headed off out in big groups to the beach or a beer garden because the sun was out, have caused the government to shut everything down because they just had to act like arseholes who think they know best.

”Most people have restricted social contact in a sensible way to try and stop grannies dying, but, well, some people are just twats,” said spokesman for the department of health Simon Williams.

“Whilst the vast majority of people kept their distance and only went out when they absolutely had to, a comparatively small number of slobbering imbeciles decided to set up a virus breeding programme in places like Scarborough beach or London’s parks this weekend.

“As a result, we’re having to introduce restrictions on everyone, and not just the people who are about as smart as a garden ornament.

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”If you went to the pub over the weekend this is on you, you stupid, selfish bags of shit,” he concluded.