Friday 20 March 2020

Successful medical trial proves celebrities singing ‘Imagine’ causes Coronavirus to die of embarrassment


Celebrities imagine cover kills coronavirus

Celebrities have unwittingly helped in the global fight against coronavirus by finding a way to make it voluntarily die of complete embarrassment.

A number of A-List celebs have released a collaborative rendition of John Lennon’s Imagine, that has been hailed by many as ‘the worst thing to go viral since Smallpox’.

However, laboratory experiments have proven that the video is so demonstrably cringeworthy, that under laboratory conditions samples of the virus simply shrivel up and die of embarrassment when exposed to the song for more than a few seconds.

Senior virologist Dr Simon Williams told us, “We didn’t realise second-hand embarrassment could be so powerful, it’s like, twenty times as effective as Tamiflu was against Swine Flu.

“The virus stops moving the very second Gal Gadot opens her mouth – as if her voice has some sort of anaesthetic property.  By the time it gets to Will Ferrell most of the virus cells have broken apart completely.

“When Gal Gadot finally – mercifully – brings the song to a close, the petri dish was full of nothing but dust.”

Governments are currently looking closely at the results, to see if the power of cringeworthy celebrity performances could be used to create a novel treatment for those suffering from Covid-19.

A UK government spokesperson told us, “We are hopeful these findings will lead to a new treatment protocol, but honestly, most of the people we’ve spoken to so far about testing the treatment have said they would prefer to suffer Covid-19 ‘in full’ than have to listen to that song ever again.”

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