Friday 20 March 2020 by Dan Sweryt

CBeebies’ Baby Club lambasted for ill-advised touching of eyes and ears and mouth and nose


cbeebies, heads shoulders knees and toes

CBeebies’ show ‘Baby Club’ has been lambasted for the ill-advised suggestion that all babies should be touching their eyes and ears and mouth and nose at this time of national crisis.

Parent, Christopher James, said, “This is completely irresponsible advice from Baby Club. Parents are watching this in an attempt to stop an 11-month-old climbing the walls in the current national emergency.

“What we don’t need is an apparently ‘kid-friendly’ song – which it is demonstrably not with all the face-touching – undermining a floppy-haired, blonde Prime Minister who is an overgrown baby-shape anyway.

“Now I’ve had to turn it off, my kid is licking my mobile phone. Is that what the producers of Baby Club want? Is it?! IS IT!?!?

“I’m sorry. I’m a little bit tense. WILL YOU FRIGGING SIT STILL, HENRY!??!”

Producer, Simon Williams, said, “We’d like to apologise to all parents who have been forced to adhere to the Baby Club joining in policy – against government advice – under pain of screaming babies who aren’t really supposed to be touching their eyes and ears and mouth and nose.

“Baby Club has now gone into lockdown with all four babies stuck in a television studio for 14 days. They are surprisingly calm, but Nigel is crying, screaming and banging on the door to be let out.”

Giovana was at home at the time, self-isolating.

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