Monday 16 March 2020 by Pete Redfern

‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ tea towel now buried under sixty toilet rolls


tea towell hidden under Toilet Rolls

The ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ tea towels owned by millions of boomers across the nation are currently being crushed at the bottom of a cupboard under sixty bog rolls, it has emerged.

The bright red tea towels, emblazoned with the wartime phrase ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’, have been reported missing from people’s home along with any ‘blitz spirit’ the owners once professed to have.

“Oh yes, ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ is a typically British sentiment that I am proud to uphold, and that’s why I paid £12.99 for a tea towel with it on a few years ago,” sixty-five-year-old moron Derek Williams told us.

“It shows the kind of plucky ‘throw what you like at us, nothing will faze us’ spirit that carried us through two world wars. Well not me personally, I wasn’t born until the mid-fifties, but you know what I mean.

“It’s just a shame I’ve lost it. It must be under the sixty loo rolls and twenty-three antibacterial hand sanitiser bottles that I bought from ASDA the other day.”

He added, “Still, it’ll turn up eventually. I’m just glad I’ve still got this ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ mug to remind me not to panic in any way.”

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