Friday 6 March 2020 by Neil Tollfree

Everything now Gin and Tonic flavoured


Man eating gin and tonic flavoured crisps

Literally everything is gin and tonic flavoured, it has been revealed.

The increase in popularity of gin and tonic as a drink over the past few years initially led to a handful of novelty gin and tonic flavoured products such as ice-cream, crisps and boiled sweets.

However, it seems things have now got out of hand with yoghurt, cheese and tea all being produced with gin and tonic flavoured variants designed, presumably, to appeal to maniacs.

“I think it was the gin and tonic flavoured jam that first alerted me to the madness,” explained Eleanor Gay, an expert in jam.

“What on earth is going on in someone’s life where they wake up in the morning and think – ‘Hmm, I know, I’ll have some nice toast with lumpy gin and tonic on top’.”

However, gin and tonic enthusiast Simon Williams disagreed.

“Oh no, I’m very much enjoying this new gin and tonic flavoured world that we live in today,” he said, as he ate a gin and tonic flavoured kit kat.

“Gin and tonic flavoured cake, gin and tonic flavoured fish fingers, gin and tonic flavoured chocolate biscuits, gin and tonic flavoured baked beans, gin and tonic flavoured basil, gin and tonic flavoured crumpets, gin and tonic flavoured ketchup, gin and tonic flavoured shoulder of lamb.

“Frankly, I find it difficult to believe that once we lived in a world where there were things that weren’t gin and tonic flavoured.

“How awful that must have been.”

Mr Williams is most excited by the news that a major drinks company have a special new ready-mixed gin and tonic drink coming out this summer that is flavoured with gin and tonic.

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