I’m not a bully and anyone who says I am will get a smack in the mouth, warns Priti Patel

author avatar by 4 years ago

Following the resignation of the head of the Home Office, with many speculating he was forced out against his will, the Home Secretary has insisted forcefully she is no bully.

Sir Philip Rutnam today announced his intention to sue for constructive dismissal, claiming there had been an orchestrated campaign against him by Ms Patel, and that she had bullied his staff.

Addressing reporters outside her underground lair, Priti Patel defended herself against the accusations saying, “Oh that balding, useless tit Philip has accused me of bullying from day one.

“Just because I’ve mercilessly intimidated and mocked him and his loyal, hard-working staff since I became their overlord – I mean boss – doesn’t mean I a bully, it just means they’re all a bunch snowflakes that need smacking into shape.

“But honestly, intimidation is all part of being a good leader. Just look at Scar from the Lion King. There’s someone who knew how to lead and motivate.

“Putting the fear of God into my subordinates doesn’t make me a bully, it just makes me effective in the eyes of my boss – who is Dominic Cummings, obviously – and anyone who says I am a bully will get a proper good smack in the face; it’s only fair.”

She added, “Anyway, have you noticed that I’m always smiling, have you not seen that? If I was a horrible person, like these snowflakes claim, would I have this weird smirk on my face all the time?

“No, of course I wouldn’t. Now piss off.”

I survived working for Priti Patel – get the T-shirt!