Police identify suspicious object in Leeds City Centre as a ‘vegetable’

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Locals fled in terror from Leeds City Centre this afternoon after Police warned a vegetable had been located in the area.

The object, which witnesses described as ‘fresh, and crunchy’, is understood to have been left behind by someone from outside Yorkshire and was safely disposed of by highly-trained professionals before it could cause bypassers the opposite of harm.

Many people from Leeds are understood to be aware of vegetables at a theoretical level, but few have ever seen one – leading to panic.

A police spokesman said people were right to be cautious, but properly handled a vegetable is usually harmless and can even be eaten provided you have enough chips and brown sauce.

“It were this green thing, and folk said as I could eat it,” said visibly shaken local Saz Williams.

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“But it didn’t look like no vegetable I’d ever seen. When I were a lad me nan used to make vegetables, but they were this mush she’d boiled for four days.

“This were solid and and your finger wouldn’t go through it at a touch. Unnatural, if you ask me.”

Chip shops and branches of Wetherspoons and Greggs are reported to have re-opened after minor disruption.