Monday 17 February 2020 by Neil Tollfree

Health experts recommend eating more vegans


Man eating

Health experts are recommending that people try to eat more vegans on a regular basis to improve their well-being.

“If the average person ate just one vegan a week, they would see a boost to their immune system, better sleep and an improved libido,” explained vegan expert Dr Simon Williams.

“It’s the strict plant-based diet that does it. It makes the average vegan full of vitamins and nutrients that are tremendously good for humans.

“They’re also often quite low in fat and can be very tasty.”

Dr Williams cautioned people to be careful when sourcing vegans.

“Unfortunately, we don’t have any real standard in this country for identifying genuine vegans.

“You could, in all good faith, get yourself what looks like a lovely tasty vegan and then you take him home and cut him open only to find he’s full of cheeseburgers and turkey twizzlers and has simply been pretending to be vegan just to act all superior.”

Only get vegans from places where there is a well-recognised supply of genuine vegans.

“Health-food shops, organic greengrocers, and Brighton,” said Dr Williams.

“You get your vegans from one of those places and you won’t go far wrong.”

Dr Williams dismissed any suggestion that, instead of eating more vegans, one simply adopts a vegan lifestyle.

“Good Lord, no,” he said, visibly alarmed.

“Adopt a vegan lifestyle and there’s every chance that some health food nut will come along and eat you in order to boost to their immune system, sleep and better and improve their libido.”

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