Friday 14 February 2020 by Neil Tollfree

Boris greets new cabinet with a cheery ‘Hail Hydra’


Boris Hails Hydra in cabinet meeting

Prime Minister Boris Johnson this morning welcomed his new cabinet to a meeting with a cheery cry of ‘Hail Hydra’.

The new ministers, all members of the Hydra organisation, were immediately put at ease and dutifully chanted ‘Hail Hydra’ in response before enjoying a glass of celebratory sherry.

Dedicated to the promotion of a legacy of evil, Hydra has been a mainstay of world power since it was formed by hooded reptoids before the evolution of mankind.

It is understood that Johnson himself joined Hydra at the age of eleven after his potential for spreading evil throughout the world was spotted by the then leading light of Hydra, Noel Edmunds.

It was a chance meeting at a Hydra Christmas drinks party that saw the Prime Minister and surprise new Chancellor Rishi Sunak strike up an immediate friendship and bond over developing innovative new methods to ruin the country.

“The cabinet is now entirely made up of Hydra operatives,” explained Simon Williams, Professor of Tories, Hydra and other evil societies at Oxford University.

“This means that they will all fall into line behind the leadership of Britain’s highest-ranking Hydra operative Dominic Cummings, and be completely united in spreading evil throughout society.”

It is understood that Brexit and the destruction of the BBC are the initial tasks that have been set for the new Hydra cabinet.

After those are complete, they will move on to the introduction of the death penalty for cheeking your betters and the mandatory wrong way round hanging of toilet rolls.

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