Government to push for ‘Narnia plus’ Brexit deal

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Prime Minister Boris Johnson has rejected accusations that an Australian-style Brexit agreement would merely be ‘no deal’ by another name, by insisting he is in favour of a ‘Narnia plus’ arrangement.

The apparent shift from her previous Canada-plus deal to this new proposal is designed to appeal to Brexit supporters such as Jacob Rees-Mogg and David Davis who already live in a fantasy land, and have consistently demanded a fantasy Brexit.

The ‘Narnia plus’ agreement would see all immigration take place through a wardrobe in Professor Kirke’s attic and have extensive trade deals brokered by Mr Tumnus the faun.

Whilst there may be some requirement for Britain to side with the evil White Witch who keeps Narnia in a constant state of fear and oppression, many Brexiters see her as the preferable trading partner compared to Donald Tusk.

It had been thought that Boris might have favoured a ‘Middle Earth plus’ agreement which would have seen Liam Fox tasked with delivering a magic ring to a volcano with only the Gollum Chris Grayling for company, all in order to secure a trade deal.

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However, he was heard muttering “Grayling would only f**k that up too” and so he went with ‘Narnia plus’ instead.

Whilst the ‘Narnia plus’ style agreement is seen as a wildly outlandish idea that has no grounding in reality whatsoever, it’s still less mental than any of the other Brexit plans for the end of the transition period, so it wouldn’t surprise any of us to see it garner significant support across parliament.