Nation of super clever people use political debate show to talk about a woman’s shoulder

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The UK, a country that is most certainly not populated by hordes of barely sentient curtain-twitchers, has shown the world its brilliance by deciding that, of all the complex problems it faces, an MP showing her shoulder in Westminster was the one worth debating.

Political journalists from across the world have expressed their admiration at the sophistication and aspirational level of televised debate in Britain.

Sigmund Wilhelms, London correspondent for Die Zeit, took time from trying to find out if he was still legally resident to explain how he wished German citizens were as forward-thinking when discussing affairs of state.

“In Germany, we don’t have shows like BBC Question Time. It’s always the same format over there. Events happen, journalists invite some experts and/or the people in charge and then everyone just sits there and learns stuff.

“On the few occasions members of the public contribute, it’s always some annoying pedant who wants to know the details and implications of policies on his or her life.

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“What we really need is a mob of hypertensive pensioners shouting cretinous aphorisms at a panel of bored backbenchers occasionally supplemented by a racist Z-lister.”

Herr Willhelms denied he was subtly labelling the British public as bovine idiots who gave free rein to politicians by being easily manipulated into focusing on trivial bullshit.

“No, I’m not taking the mickey. I think the right of women to show one bare shoulder at work is something a modern nation should be talking about. And that’s absolutely not something we associate with countries where the TV goes blank nationwide because the producer’s goats chewed some cables.

“I mean, what if she shows a knee next time?”