Friday 7 February 2020

Man reveals little-known superpower of knowing someone was gay just seconds after they come out


Philip Schofield

Local man Simon Williams has taken to social media to reveal his previously hidden superpower; knowing someone was gay just seconds after they come out.

After Philip Schofield came out on national television, after being married to a woman for over twenty years, Williams revealed his superpower to his followers and friends across Facebook and Twitter.

“I knew it!” said Williams, continuing his 100% track record of what friends are calling his ‘magical hindsight gaydar’.

“I’m not getting ahead of myself and expecting my own MCU movie or anything, but literally every time a celebrity comes out as gay, I can tell you within seconds that I knew it all along. It’s a gift.”

Williams went on to describe this history of his special ability.

He continued, “I’m not sure when I first recognised I was special, or different from other people, it was probably when one of those boy band singers came out, I distinctly remember thinking ‘I knew that!’, and then telling everyone that I knew that, and they were all impressed that I had known that all along.

“I don’t think it’s ‘magic’ – not in the Dr Strange sense of the word – but it’s certainly like a sixth sense. I can’t really explain how it works, I just hear someone in the public eye saying they are gay, then I find myself thinking I always knew it, and before you know it I’m looking back into their history for clues as to why I always knew it.

“No, I have no idea how I can use this great responsibility to fight crime.”

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