Tuesday 4 February 2020

Banks explain that new overdraft rate is 40% because ‘f*ck you, that’s why’


Banks set overdraft interest rate at 40%

A new overdraft interest rate, to be applied whether your overdraft is arranged, or not, has been set at 40% because ‘fuck you that’s why’, according to High Street banks across the country.

After all major banks picked all coincidentally picked an interest rate as close as dammit to 40%, consumers have been left wondering if perhaps they are being conspired against.

A banking industry spokesperson sought to clarify the new charges.

They told us “We are banks, we exist to make money. To us, you are nothing more than warm buckets of flesh that just happen to have wallets attached to them.

“All this talk of a conspiracy is nonsense, we’re not conspiring against you because you’re going overdrawn, we are merely treating you with the same disdain we treat all our customers.

“And the reason all of the banks have coincidentally arrived at a figure close to 40% is because they all find you equally contemptible. It’s nothing personal, we just have no time for you. Trust me, if we could just take your money and not have to engage with you at all, we would.”

Meanwhile, customers have reacted with frustration as yet another set of financial services companies look set to get away with taking the absolute piss.

Banking customer Simon Williams told us, “I know Wonga went to the wall for predatory lending practises and using extortionate rates of interest, so is it too much to hope that some of these fuckers might go the same way?

“Yeah, I thought so.”

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