Popular and respected MP Mark Francois is to change his name to ‘something less European’ to celebrate Brexit, he has confirmed.
Francois, who is widely liked by his colleagues in parliament, has applied to make the change by deed poll to underscore the transition from a European state to a British one.
“For too long I’ve been forced to go about with some foreign name unfairly holding me back,” he told reporters.
“Well, no more. Today is the day I cast off the shackles of Francois and become the Petit-Anglais I was born to be.
“Just like Britain will stand taller in the world and impress other nations, I confidently expect to promptly grow four or five inches and become more attractive to women as a result of the change.
“It will happen any second now. Just wait and see. Any…second…now.”