Friday 31 January 2020 by Neil Tollfree

Britain all set to leave the EU…for a bit


Brexit happening

Tonight at 11pm, three and a half years after the EU referendum, Britain will finally leave the EU…for a bit.

The country will begin a transition period that will last for the rest of the year before beginning a new relationship with the EU that will continue for several years before Britain quietly asks if it could rejoin again please because life as a diminished global player with a rubbish economy isn’t as much fun as everyone said it would be.

“Well, of course, I’m terribly sad to be stepping down as an MEP for a bit,” explained Simon Williams, a British MEP who will probably not bother selling his flat in Brussels, but will just rent it out for the time being.

“I’ve got a lot of good friends and colleagues here and I’ll miss working closely with them for the next few years.

“I just hope that restaurant I like will still be here when we all come back.”

It is understood that the EU will be happy to welcome back a returning UK at any point in the future provided they leave Nigel Farage and his crappy clown show of seventies sitcom characters masquerading as politicians at home.

“That’s fine,” said Williams.

“When we come back in a few years, I’m sure the majority of them will either be in prison or hosting shit radio shows. The others we just won’t tell.”

It is thought that many Brexit supporters will be celebrating the occasion of leaving the EU by throwing parties, being racist and making economically illiterate statements about the country’s future.

And after all their hard work, few would deny them their chance to celebrate Britain finally leaving the EU…for a bit.

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