Thursday 30 January 2020 by Lucas Wilde

Freudian scenes as Nigel Farage waves tiny, limp flag around before being told to put it away


Nigel Farage, flag

The term “Freudian” will now simply be defined by a photo of Nigel Farage waving a tiny flag around while people urge him to stop.

The MEP and his bloody awful mates in the Brexit party countered their EU’s considered and polite farewell remarks by standing up and waving their tiny Union Jacks about to the delight of nobody but themselves.

“Absolute small-dick energy,” confirmed EU translator, Simon Williams.

“It’s a wonder Sigmund Freud didn’t leap from his grave, point at Farage and shout ‘SEE?!’.

“Seriously, if any Viagra companies were watching, I’d anticipate a bidding war for that footage. It would be perfect for the ‘before’ portion of the advert.”

Jay Cooper, who sits on the board of the Oxford English Dictionary, said, “We don’t typically use photos on the dictionary.”

“However, in this case, we feel we must use this image. Nothing else defines the term “Freudian” quite so succinctly as a pompous little man waving a tiny little flag around in the false belief that it is somehow impressive, while an entire chamber of people recoils in disgust and asks him to stop it.”

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