Monday 20 January 2020 by Lucas Wilde

Venn diagram of people astonished Harry is leaving, and people who spent two years abusing his wife, is a circle


Harry and Meghan and Archie

The Venn diagram of people who are astonished and angry that Harry is leaving the Royal Family and people who have called his wife a bitch since she arrived is a circle, according to reports this afternoon.

The media has expressed anger and shock since the artist formerly known as Prince Harry announced he was taking his wife Meghan and leaving the country with their son.

“This is the same media who suggested Meghan was an evil witch for enjoying avocado and was tearing the royal family apart, based on nothing confirmed in fact whatsoever,” confirmed royal correspondent, Simon Williams.

“And Jonny Public has done nothing but go along with it, because Jonny Public is evidently a fucking moron with tall poppy syndrome.

“And now everyone is surprised and angry that they’re going away. It’s really weird. I don’t tend to hang around people who talk shit about my wife either.”

Member of the public, Liz Dillon, said, “Meghan is a meddling little witch and I’ve been saying that ever since I laid eyes on her, for reasons I’ve long forgotten.

“I’ve shared every single article which shows her in a bad light or even vaguely suggested she’s evil, as have all my friends.

“And now Harry is leaving, and I don’t understand why. It’s so sad.”

Simon Williams commented, “See?”

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