Material Girl Madonna to open haberdashery and fabric shop

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Popstar and bra-pioneer Madonna has announced that she is to take a break from pop music to open a haberdashery and fabric shop.

It is well-known that Madonna’s first love has always been haberdashery, so much so that she wrote her 1984 hit Material Girl in tribute to the wide variety of fabrics available in the early eighties.

“Yeah, so, after my Madame X record, I feel like I’ve said so much through my music,” explained the Queen of pop, possibly while just wearing her underwear.

“So now the time is right to return to my first love, that of quality fabrics.

“I will be opening a haberdashery and fabric shop. It will be mainly a traditional haberdashery and fabric shop but, like everything I do, there will be a sexy twist.

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“You know, the shop assistants might be just wearing pants or we’ll have a special lace section for lacey bras and knickers, that sort of thing.”

The La Isla Bonita star has yet to confirm exactly where she will be opening her shop, but Beverly Hills, New York, or Sunderland currently seem favourites.

It is thought that once Madonna has her haberdashery and fabric shop is set up, she will then move to open up a cardiology clinic, as heart surgery has been a passion of Madonna’s for almost has long as fabrics, as evidenced in her 1986 hit – Open Your Heart.