Eight-year-old left in tears after Laurence Fox steals his veganuary joke

author avatar by 4 years ago

Eight-year-old Jake Williams was left inconsolable earlier today after discovering actor Laurence Fox had used his veganuary joke on Twitter without crediting him.

Williams said he only learned his joke had been used a by a grown adult because someone in the playground told him, and one of his friends in the year above explained that his joke was being used by the sidekick to the guy who was the sidekick to Inspector Morse – whoever that is.

Williams told us, “It’s not fair using my joke and not telling people it was my joke, my big sister is fourteen and she says she’s a vegan because she loves the animals so I said she was actually being really cruel to carrots who never did anything wrong to her so she must really hate carrots and then she said I was annoying and told my mum who said I had to stop being annoying.  It’s not annoying, she’s the annoying one! You’re allowed to be annoying if they were annoying first, it’s the LAW!”

“I don’t get why I’m the one in trouble, it was just a joke and she’s the one being cruel to carrots. Vegans are SO touchy!”

Williams said that although he was disappointed to see his material being used online by a grown-up without his consent, he was willing to sell Fox more of his one-liners, especially if he’s in the market for jokes about bums, farts and woke leftists.

NewsThump Hoodies

“I’ve got loads more,” he went on, “Why did the woke leftist cross the road? To avoid listening to the smelly bum-heads on the other side – he can have that one for free.”