Vladimir Putin chips in a tenner to ‘Ben Ben Bong for Brexit’ crowdfunder

author avatar by 4 years ago

Russian President Vladimir Putin has donated a tenner towards the Big Ben Bong crowdfunder being run by Mark Francois, explaining that it’s the very least he could do, considering.

Despite the campaign only having found 20% of the total required by the weekend deadline, Putin was quick to add his voice to those calling for more donations.

He told reporters, “I’ve spent so much on Brexit already that an extra tenner hardly seems like anything.

“When you’ve invested as heavily as I have in a global disinformation machine capable of manipulating sentiment on a national scale, another ten quid really isn’t that much.

“The British people did what I wanted, so why shouldn’t I contribute towards their little party?  Yes, I’m not really known for sentimentality, but it gives me the warm fuzzies to think of the British people digging deep to pay for a massive bell that 99.999% of the population can’t hear, to celebrate a thing no-one really understands, and to signify the culmination of five years work on my part.”

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Meanwhile, gelatinous Conservative MP and staunch Brexiter Mark Francois has insisted that even if his crowdfunding effort fails to meet its £500k target by this weekend, he and thousands of others will take to the streets at midnight on Jan 31st and shout “Bong!” at the sky to celebrate leaving the EU.

He explained, “The liberal elite might be able to stop people donating enough to make Big Ben bong – I don’t know how they can do it, they just can – but they can’t stop Brexiters going out into the night to howl at the moon.

“Why are you laughing?”