Tuesday 7 January 2020 by S. Elizabeth

School PTA raises £50,000 by promising no events in 2020


People happy PTA cancelling events

A West Yorkshire primary school has succeeded in raising an astonishing £50,000 by charging £100 per family, in exchange for cancelling all PTA events throughout 2020.

With memories of a crippling Christmas fair fresh in mind, parents gladly handed over the cash, after being reminded fifteen times by passive-aggressive WhatsApp Messages from class representatives.

Mum of one, Valerie Gregor says, “After 45 minutes of standing in what was termed a ‘queue’ for Santa, but was actually more reminiscent of a mosh pit, my child had a sugar and E-number induced meltdown, ripped all her clothes off and started throwing tombola prizes around the hall.”

Parent Louise Halley says, “I agreed to man the second-hand uniform sales for 30 minutes, but no one came to take over. I had to do it for four hours. Then I was coerced into taking the remaining items home, rearranging them into size order and storing them in my loft. I think I’m now in charge of second-hand uniforms.”

Other events being avoided this year include a sponsored dog-poo clear-up, a curry night where all entrants bring their own curry, a “pay £1 to dress your child as an adverb” day and 14,000 bake sales.

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