As tensions with Iran escalate, the military-age sons of President Trump are understood to have simultaneously developed bone spurs – which would exempt them from any draft, were one introduced.
The ailment, which is was not previously known to be hereditary, is sufficient to debar sufferers from military service whilst not proving any hindrance to living a full and active life in other areas.
The spurs are understood to have spontaneously developed over the last 72 hours, and may disappear again just as quickly should international tensions ease.
“Whilst it’s certainly unusual, there’s nothing automatically suspicious about two members of the same family going down with the same physical complaint their father did under similar circumstances,” said Trump family physician Billy-Simon Williams from behind a brand-new solid gold desk.
“Ordinary members of the American public can rest assured I applied the same diligence and professionalism to this diagnosis as I did when I gave their father a clean bill of health after a three-minute examination and a large bill.”
When asked whether his youngest son, Barron, was likely to inherit his bone spurs as well, President Trump looked confused and said ‘Who?’.