Bernie Sanders and Jeremy Corbyn renew calls for de-escalation after defeat of General M. Bison by Guile

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Moderate political voices have warned of retaliation by the Shadaloo Tong after it was reported leader General M Bison was defeated by US Colonel William Guile overnight.

Bison has been linked to numerous terrorist activities over the years, including the murder of the father of a Hong Kong journalist, the devastation of Native American lands, and the kidnap and mutation of an Indian scientist.

Firebrand commentator Noam Chomsky accused the United States of manufacturing the conflict with Bison in response to his attempt to replace the reserve status of the dollar with his own ‘Bison Bucks’, and said Bison’s scheme to do this by kidnapping the Queen of England was ‘legitimate self-interest against a symbol of a discredited regime’.

US State Department spokesman Simon-Bob Williams told us, “General Bison has been behind a succession of attacks on the international community for years, including travelling to the United States to attack martial artist Ken Masters and smash up his car on the docks”.

“And eventually it became clear that only way to stop him was sending a lone operative into the heart of Shadaloo territory and decisely beat him, twice, one credit.”

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However, critics have attacked the line operative policy, saying that just because a movie star defeated Shang Tsung one time that doesn’t mean it’s a long- term strategy.

Experts suggest that Shadaloo will rapidly respond to the defeat, possibly by sending Sagat to smash some barrels in a warehouse.