Dead people snubbing Derek Acorah in afterlife for career spent pretending to talk to them

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Derek Acorah has found that people in the after-life are a lot less chatty than he thought they might be, given his career spent pretending to talk to them.

The 69-year-old passed away after a brief illness and has been left surprised at the cold shoulder he has received having found himself in the afterlife.

“He arrived a little sheepish, and rightly so. I think he’s as surprised as the rest of us that he’s up here – but like everyone else, I’ve no interest in talking to him.

Gerry Matthews, who died eleven years ago aged 85, told us, “That shit pretended to talk to me in turn for a handful of cash from my desperately upset daughter – so no, I have no interest in getting to know him now.

“If he wants a conversation with me, maybe he could just make one up? Or does he only do that if he’s being paid?”

Meanwhile, grieving families back on earth have been left wondering which conman will step into the void in order to free them of their hard-earned money while pretending to be talking to their recently-deceased relatives in the hope of one-day getting on television.