Friday 20 December 2019

People who post Star Wars spoilers the new paedophiles

Rise of Skywalker spoilers

People who spoil your enjoyment of the new Star Wars film are worse than kiddy fiddlers, according to Twitter this morning.

With major plot points known only by the couple of million people who’ve already seen the film on the day of release, many fans have lashed out at those Twitter users intent on ruining the story for them.

As one Internet user explained, “Jesus Christ these people openly discussing what happened in The Rise of Skywalker are the scum of the earth.

“I swear they take deliberate pleasure in ruining the lives of others, like a sick pervert intent on getting themselves off.”

“Why is it so hard to simply enjoy the film in peace and keep it to yourself? Just because you watched it at midnight on the day of release doesn’t make you a better person than me.”

However one fan explained, “I watched it last night and I couldn’t wait to get on to Twitter to talk about it to all those people who haven’t seen it yet.

“God, it makes me hard just thinking about all the disappointment I’m causing.”

Star Wars fan Simon Williams said he has struggled to avoid Twitter spoilers since last night’s release, in the hope of watching it like any normal person, when he could find a couple of spare hours to do so.

He explained, “This last 24 hours has just been a case of treating everyone and everything as warily as a potential paedophile.

“This must be what it’s like to live as a Daily Mail reader?”

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