Wednesday 18 December 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Africa to replace clanging chimes of doom with actual Christmas bells this year


Africa Christmas bells

Arica has announced that instead of their traditional clanging chimes of doom, this year the continent will use Christmas bells.

The world was alerted to Africa’s strange tradition of having clanging chimes of doom at Christmas by the 1984 shouty-Bono pop classic ‘Do they know it’s Christmas’ in which Sting and Bono explain that ‘the Christmas bells that ring there [Africa] are the clanging chimes of doom,’ and everyone went – ‘that’s a bit weird’.

“Well, these Christmas bells that everyone goes on about seem quite nice,” said Simon Williams, an African.

“So, we thought that we’d give them a try this year.”

He went on to explain that the clanging chimes of doom had become grating.

“It’s tiresome, you know? You’re off to work, or out with friends or whatever and all you can hear at this time of year are the clanging chimes of doom.

“It just really brings the mood down.

“I mean, we’re quite a diverse continent here and not everyone celebrates Christmas, but I think we can all agree that having these clanging chimes of doom is a miserable experience for everyone.

“So, we’re all looking forward to replacing them with some nice Christmas bells.”

Mr Williams also confirmed that there will, in fact, be snow in Africa this Christmas.

“Yes, mainly in the mountains.”

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