With ten days to go until Christmas, the Williams family have finally completed untangling the damn lights.
The lights, which they’re pretty sure were put back in the bag neatly and carefully last year, had become an eleven-dimensional tangle which leading scientists could have used to resolve string theory if they’d known.
“It’s a real Festive tradition in our house,” Dad Simon Williams told us.
“We all gather together and there’s a lot of prayer – ‘Jesus will you just please untangle’ and ‘For Christ’s sake can you just hold the plug end’, that sort of thing.
“It’s a time we can ask those deep, meaningful questions of each other which we yearn to have answered, like ‘Which bloody idiot just put them back in the bag like this last year?”, and yea, like Saint Peter to our Lord, everyone denies it three times.
“And then there the sacrament of wine because I need a glass or two when it’s all over.
“My New Years resolution will be to put them away carefully this time so we don’t have to do this again next year,” he added with touching and misguided optimism.