Thursday 12 December 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Greta Thunberg celebrates winning Time’s Person of the Year by drinking cider in the park with her mates


Greta Thunberg drinking in the park

Climate Activist Greta Thunberg has celebrated being named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year by going down the local park and drinking cider with her mates.

It is understood one of her mates has got a bit of a moustache and looks quite old, so he was able to purchase three two-litre bottles of Blast Cider.

The group then cycled down to the park, someone put on a rap playlist on their phone and they began drinking the cider.

The evening drew to a close at around 11.30pm when Greta had a big snog with the boy with the moustache and then threw up into a bin.

At around 10pm, Greta posted an inspirational message on her YouTube channel.

“Yeah, so…yeah, right?” She began.

“What I think is, right, that, you know…shut up, mate…no, shut up…no, I’m doing an inspirational video and everything.

“So, yeah, right? Don’t throw all your shit in the sea or, you know, don’t get your Mum to drive you places.”

She then pauses briefly, seemingly recognising a song.

“Oh shit, I love this one – When it’s a shutdown, it’s not me and it’s a shutdown.”

She continues rapping along to Skepta’s Shutdown until midway through the second verse when the video cuts out.

It is understood that her mum has phoned up the UN to tell them that Greta can’t come in to give them a bollocking today because she’s not feeling very well.

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