Thursday 12 December 2019

Disastrous attempt at tactical voting sees Chris Grayling vote for Labour


Chris Grayling voted for Labour

Chris Grayling has spent the morning studying the techniques around tactical voting, before placing his vote for the Labour Party.

Grayling, who is standing once again in the Epsom and Ewell constituency, had been monitoring conversations online about the power of tactical voting, and decided he should probably give it a go.

He told reporters, “I’d always fancied myself as a master tactician. Sort of like Jose Mourinho crossed with Tsun Zu.

“So obviously I took to this whole tactical voting thing with the competence and flair one has become accustomed to from the Grayling name.”

Grayling went on to explain the amount of reading he had done, insisting that he had learned his lesson about making bad decisions with poor information.

He went on, “It turns out, the best way to get the sort of parliament that will do the sort of things that I agree with, is to vote for Labour. Yes, I was a little sceptical, but it was all on the Internet, so it must be true. So I did my duty, as any fan of democracy would do.

“On my way out the exit polling guy asked me if I’d mind telling him who I’d voted for, and laughed a lot when I told him, but I explained that voting is no laughing matter and that our democracy is sacrosanct. Then he got serious and pleaded with me to let him quote me on the record.

“Of course he can, the more people we can get this message to, the better!”

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