Wednesday 11 December 2019

Boris Johnson faces waking nightmare after locking himself in a fridge with Andrew Neil


Boris in a fridge with Andrew Neil

Boris Johnson has been forced to endure a nightmare morning after accidentally locking himself in a fridge with Andrew Neil, in an attempt to avoid questions from Good Morning Britain.

Boris, who was ushered into the fridge by aides concerned about the potential impact of the forensic questioning of…err, Susanah Reid, sat on a crate of milk waiting to be let out before Neil appeared from behind a cage of full-fat cream.

“Oh crap,” explained Boris, before banging on the door to be let out, seemingly unaware that his assistants were keeping him in there for his own good, given that the last-minute Tory campaign appears to consist of not letting Boris say anything to reporters.

As Neil attempted to confront Boris with a track record of failure, lies, broken promises and bungled policies, the prime minister attempted to climb inside a box of yoghurt.

Neil continued, undeterred, asking “Prime minister, perhaps you could step away from the yoghurt and answer some of the questions the people would like your answer?”

However, Boris soon admitted defeat, and realised there was only one way out of this situation; pretended to faint. Boris only opened one eye every now and again to see if anyone was coming to rescue him.

Boris is expected to win a parliamentary majority tomorrow, as the nation confirms that it quite likes the country being run by a coward.

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