Philip Schofield was left understandably confused this morning after interviewing a ‘fluffy, blond’ critter that communicates in incomprehensible gibberish and likes a couple of fingers up its arse.
Schofield, who has not seen Gordon in almost thirty years, thought his old broom cupboard pal had put on a lot of weight when he met the Prime Minister but kept up his professionalism and didn’t say anything – only learning of his mistake earlier.
“He just said ‘Brexit brexit brexit’ to everything, which is the same noise you get when you squeeze one of those old bicycle horns,” said Schofield, “So it took me some time to realise that he wasn’t trying to line up an episode of Blue Peter like in the old days and was, in fact, trying to outline government policy.
“This is almost as embarrassing as the time I thought I was chatting to Edd the Duck and it turned out to be Caroline Lucas.
“If I’d known I was talking to the Prime Minister, I’d have asked difficult questions like what his favourite episode of The Demon Headmaster was, as opposed to wasting my time on the conservative manifesto.
“Let’s face it, both trashed the green room but at least with Gordon I would have got straight answers.”