Wednesday 4 December 2019 by Pete Redfern

Melania Trump confirms she fancies both of Justin Trudeau’s faces


Melania Trump fancies Justin Trudeau

After her husband labelled Canada’s Prime Minister as ‘two-faced’, the First Lady has confirmed that two faces merely means twice the beauty to gaze upon.

In typical presidential and statesmanlike fashion, Donald Trump threw all of his toys out of the pram after seeing a video clip in which Justin Trudeau appeared to be joining the rest of the human race by publicly mocking him. The President then cancelled a meeting he was supposed to attend and called the Canadian Prime Minister ‘two-faced’, just like any stable genius would.

Melania, on the other hand, remained unwavering in her lust for Justin.

“Oh, two faces would be the dream,” she told us wistfully, gazing off into the middle distance.

“Imagine if he had literally two faces. Side by side, or one on top of the other – I don’t care, he’d be twice as gorgeous and manly as he is already. I could kiss one, whilst the other one spoke French in my ear, and imagine gazing into four of those stunning eyes!”

She added, “I mean, look at what I have to wake up next to each day – the state of it. I can’t even see where Donald’s face ends and his turkey neck begins.”

She then made an excuse and headed quickly to the room where Justin Trudeau was still entertaining other world leaders by ripping the absolute piss out of the US President.

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