HG Wells builds time machine so he can punch whoever was responsible for that adaptation of War of the Worlds

author avatar by 4 years ago
NewsThump Needs Your Help

Popular Edwardian novelist and inventor of the concept of Time Travel Herbert George Wells has appeared in central London this morning, intending to punch whoever made the BBC adaptation of War of the Worlds squarely on the nose.

Wells, who believed the chances of anyone making a boring adaptation of his masterpiece were a million to one, said ‘but still, it’s done’.

“There was a great disturbance in the… oh, I’m sure you’ll come up with a word for it”, said Wells. “As if millions of my fans voices cried out ‘what the heck’.”

“So as the inventor of time travel I built a machine and popped forwards a hundred years to see what the fuss was about.

“And by golly, it’s a good thing I’ve studied the pugilistic arts and Bartitsu as I’m going to hand out a few pretty sound thrashings whilst I’m here.

NewsThump Best sellers

“I’m guessing the Martians died of b——-y boredom in this version because I d—n near did.”

Wells is also understood to be disappointed that special effects don’t appear to have improved all that much since he wrote it in 1898.

However, scriptwriters are unrepentant.

“My mind is immeasurably superior to yours. Vast and cool and unsympathetic,” said writer Simon Williams, smugly.

“If you didn’t get it that’s not my fault.”