Friday 22 November 2019 by Pete Redfern

Brexit Party pledge to ban the Macarena


Brexit Party to ban Macarena

The Brexit Party have announced a very important policy at their general election launch event today.

Leader Nigel Farage has said he will not publish a manifesto, but will instead make a “contract with the British people”, which includes several core policies, one of which relates to the concerning spread of European dances.

Ahead of the event, Nigel Farage spoke to journalists in a pub at half-seven this morning. Starting his third pint he outlined, “Clearly our main pledge is to leave the European Union, just like it was when I was at UKIP.

“But we are not a one-trick pony – there are are several other policies that we intend to deliver if we come into power in December, including the introduction of legislation to ensure all beer is served warm; giving six lashes of the cane to anyone caught speaking Romanian; the re-introduction of CEEFAX, and the absolute outlawing of the Macarena.”

He continued, “The Macarena epitomises everything that is wrong with Europe’s influence on our great land. It brings happiness to those involved and people have to all work together for it to be successful. It is completely disgusting.”

Simon Williams, a swing voter from Plymouth, responded, “This puts me in a real quandry; normally I would rather remove my toenails one by one with a pair of rusty pliers than vote for Nigel Farage, but this Macarena thing might swing it for me.

“What’s that, Ann Widdecombe is standing again? Labour it is then.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the T-shirt here!

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