Comical Mourinho Spurs meltdown scheduled for March 2021

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The Tottenham Hotspur board have announced that the inevitable comical Mourinho meltdown has been scheduled for March 2021.

Jose Mourinho was awarded a four-year contract to manage the club on the understanding that everything will go completely to shit long before that, following an epic strop and total breakdown in communication with players, board, fans, the lady who makes the tea and the dog.

“I thought it best to get something in the diary,” explained Spurs chairman Daniel Levy.

“March ’21 works for everyone. We get a good few months at the start of the season when the fans get that sense of hope that maybe Mourinho has still got it.

“Then we get the epic comical meltdown towards the back end of the season, so there’s only a couple of months of pretending that everything is fine while literally no one at the club is talking to each other.”

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Fans were excited at the prospect of yet another comical Mourinho meltdown, this time at Spurs.

“Yeah, it’s going to be brilliant, I’m sure,” said Spurs fan Simon Williams.

“I just wonder what will set it all off. The sidelining of a promising English winger? Sticking his finger in someone’s eye?

“I just wish we didn’t have to wait a year and a half before everything goes to piss in a kettle, but that’s the Mourinho way I suppose.”

It is understood that Mauricio Pochettino has already pre-refused an offer to return to Spurs in 2021 and fix whatever state of shambolic chaos Mourinho leaves in his wake.