After the Conservatives changed their official Press Twitter account to resemble that of an independent fact-checker during last night’s leader’s debate, independent fact-checker Jimmy Cleverest has lept to their defence.
“We at TotallyTruePoliticalFact.com do not believe there was any intent to deceive the voting public,” insisted Cleverest, sporting a nose that appeared to be suffering some sort of skin pigment disorder.
“In my objective and unbiased opinion, the Tories never try to deceive anyone,” he continued, adjusting his glasses and spitting bits of his moustache out of his mouth.
“OK, the Conservative press office happened to rename itself ‘FactCheckUK’ for a while, which just happened to coincide with a crucial TV debate. And then we, I mean they, happened to make some innocent observations – Corbyn is in league with the devil, vote Conservative, that sort of thing.”
“But as an independent fact-checker I fail to see how making government propaganda look like independently verified facts could be seen as a dishonest attempt to trick voters?
“People only have themselves to blame if they’re not observant enough to notice the small Tory Twitter handle below the giant flashing animation which says ‘Fact Check: vote for Boris or destroy the country: 100% True’.
“To sum up, in a totally impartial and neutral way that is 100% independently fact-checked, vote Tory.”
When it was pointed out that everyone could see through his disguise, Mr Cleverest replied “OK, you got me. But I had ‘James Cleverly’ clearly written on the label of my underwear the whole time, so really there’s no deception.
“You can’t trust Corbyn, though. I don’t even believe he really makes his own jam.”