Tuesday 19 November 2019 by Arabin Patson

Woman shocked that notorious liar who cheated on his wife with her is not calling her back


Jennifer Arcuri interview

Jennifer Arcuri, a woman that makes British men of a certain age think of Razzle, has been left flabbergasted that the lardy toff who committed adultery with her, in a sordid affair involving embezzlement and stripper poles, turned out to be an unreliable shit.

In an interview with ITV News, Ms Arcuri showed she was still somehow hoping he might respect her, even if it’s obvious Boris Johnson sees her as little more than a talking wank-sock.

Although the subject of intense social media mockery, some political commentators, such as Simon Williams from the Sunday Times, warned that Jennifer Arcuri is actually a glimpse into the UK’s future.

He explained “Right now Boris is telling us that we are really special, and how he can do great things for us if we’re game for some naughty stuff.

“We all know he’s never made good on any promise he’s made and yet he’s still the favourite in the polls.

“But once he gets what he wants he will instantly see us as an irritant. He will call us a cab before he’s even wiped his knob and then plonk himself in front of the telly, barely grunting goodbye as we walk out into the cold with nothing more tangible from the relationship than a sense of shame and rectal bleeding.

“If we’re lucky he’ll take us on a trip, partly to give him mile high-blowjobs but mainly because he bet Michael Gove he can treat us like shit and still get us to belly-dance topless.

“So laugh away at this woman getting savaged on live television by a professional Glaswegian, but we’ll all be wearing a saucy matron costume and nipple clamps by January.”

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