Chip shop staff still stuck at work 20 hours after asking Jeremy Corbyn if he wants salt and vinegar

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A chippie in Lancaster saw the creation of a huge queue and staff forced to work round the clock after the Labour leader ordered a small chips and battered veggie sausage but steadfastly refused to give a clear answer when asked if he wanted his chips seasoned.

Local resident Simone Williams, was one of many who waited patiently for over two hours for Jeremy Corbyn to make a decision before getting frustrated and deciding to get a kebab instead.

She explained, “My family support Labour so I was quite chuffed to see him at the chip shop. He was friendly enough and at least it seems like he had ordered chips before, unlike the Tory candidates who go to the chippie and have the same look middle-class people have on holiday when trying to shake off a persistent child beggar.

“But then Pavel asked him if he wanted salt and vinegar and it started to get weird.

“Jeremy gave us a lecture on false narratives and the danger of accepting binary choices. I gave up when he went on about how modern capitalism meant the inevitable end of mushy peas or some bollocks.”

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A spokesperson for the Labour Party denied Mr Corbyn was infuriatingly indecisive and has long since forgotten the difference between taking a nuanced position and being a dithering twat.

They told us, “Jeremy wants to be the PM of all British people, whether they like salt, vinegar, both or will take it plain and do it at home.

“And the people saying you must choose between curry sauce or gravy are perpetuating the neo-liberal dogma of the Bretton-Woods agreement.

“Wait, stop, don’t walk away. Please stay. I have to say this or I don’t get paid!”

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