The Woking branch of Pizza Express has been swift to refute accusations that Prince Andrew was or has ever been at any of their parties.
The Duke of York claimed in a Saturday night BBC interview that he could not have had sex with a teenage girl because he was attending a party at Pizza Express in Woking.
Branch manager, Simon Williams, said, “Obviously, we can’t be seen to be having the kinds of parties with which Prince Andrew is associated.
“Before you know it, we’ll be hearing Jeffrey Epstein was coming to parties here. Then Gary Glitter. Then everyone from Operation Yewtree.
“No, no, no. Best to nip this in the bud straight away and categorically say we do not hold the kind of parties Prince Andrew would be interested in, despite him being a complete dough ball.”
Prince Andrew himself said, “I do not go to the kind of parties that are full of teenage girls.
“I can confirm I was instead attending the Woking Pizza Express as they were having a party for a 13-year-old friend of my 14-year-old daughter and their 13-15-year-old girlfriends.”